Three weeks to go and I’m HYSTERICAL with nerves.
It all started about two weeks ago when I started having nightmares. You know the kind of thing – I miss the race, I can’t see my family, my legs give way, I’m chased by lions, just the usual last minute nerves. Instead of telling myself none of those things are going to happen, I have done the exact opposite and given into my fears and planned for all eventualities (apart from the lion thing. If that happens I’ll just run up a tree or play dead or something). So I have now planned how my family are getting to the event, how frequent the trains are, how long it will take, what travel cards we need. The list is endless. And every time I try to tell them about my plans they look at me like I’m mental, tell me I’m being hysterical before saying ‘We’ll sort it, don’t worry’. Why does that phrase make me instantly more stressed? They haven’t sorted it, by the way, and I’m about to have an actual nervous breakdown.
At this point I’m in agreement with them – I am being hysterical – but it’s hard not to. I’ve trained for a year and a half and I want everything to go right. My training is about there. I did a comfortable eight mile hill run the week before last and a ten-and-a-half mile run on Sunday. I just have a few shorter runs to go and then I’m ready for the start line. If only I could shake this feeling that the world is going to implode before my race.